being uncomfortable

By: Gabriel Roman

I moved to Pittsburgh at the end of February. Ever since that move, my life has been a constant cycle of: “Lord if you don’t show up, I can’t get through this situation.” These are situations that are bigger than me and are supposed to take me out. Over the last few months the Lord has been showing me how he is bigger than the biggest situations I can face, and how being in a place where you are desperate for him is the best place to be. He has shown me how he takes care of his children. When I moved here, I felt like the Lord was telling me to go, but I didn’t have anywhere to stay, I didn’t have a job, and most importantly I didn’t have a community to plug into. One by one the Lord knocked each one of those obstacles down. Let me give you some examples...
 
My fiancé and I were invited out to California to be a part of praying over a vision that a close friend had of revival in the United States. We both felt like we were supposed to go, but did not have the financial means. A little bit of time went by and we just prayed and said, “Lord if you want us to go, you are going to have to provide a way.” That same night we got a phone call from our close friend, and he said that he had been saving money for the last few months and felt like the Lord was telling him to buy our plane tickets. We went, and on that trip we experienced the Lord in new ways, and had a glimpse of what doing ministry together looks like. The team we were with got to put on a worship event in the middle of the food court of a public university, and 500 people showed up. We got to experience all of this because the Lord provided for what he called us to. 
 
Shortly after California, rent was due, and because I wasn’t working for two weeks, it wasn’t in my bank account. However, I knew I had been faithful to where the Lord asked me to put my funds and time. I remember sitting in my room trying to figure out a way to pay rent. Starting to feel overwhelmed, I just prayed. I knew I had done what I had been told up to that point. If following the Lord got me to this situation, then I knew the Lord was also going to provide a way out. So as I was praying I asked the Lord, “what is my role in the way you want to bless me?” Honestly his response was the last thing I wanted to hear. He said, “I want you to go and ask people.” In that moment, I realized that there was pride in my life. I didn’t want to ask people for help because I didn’t want them to think less of me. I remember being so convicted after the Lord said, “Are you going to follow me even when it makes you look bad?” I called one person and shared my struggle and what the Lord had been doing my in my life, and the person responded: “Gabe I love you, I trust you, and I want to cover your need in full.” A lot of times what the Lord is asking us to do goes against what WE want to do. Sometimes our blessing is behind the door that is the most uncomfortable for us.
 
I am not saying that following the Lord is going to give you riches and that He is going to give you everything that you want. God is not a genie. I am saying that when you follow the Lord you will eventually find yourself in a tough situation. But any tough situation the Lord leads you to he is going to lead you through. In the midst of those tough situations, he is either going to show you more of his characteristics and who he is, or he is trying to weed out of your heart something that isn't supposed to be there. The Lord is faithful to his children and he wants to bless you in the process of becoming more like him. Sometimes that involves doing something that you are uncomfortable with. So, if you find yourself in a situation where something seems much bigger than you are, then congrats. The best place to be is a place where you have to be completely dependent on the Lord.